3. Happiness is a Choice

So I realize that I haven’t been very quick at posting my four 'new' agreements here on my blog – but hey I have to celebrate that I am even doing this so thank you for bearing with me! With that said, this brings me to a third agreement that I have added to my list and I would like to share with you:

"Happiness is a choice"

I have discovered that feelings of happiness are really the response to an initial thought that comes into your mind at any given time that determines ones level of happiness. There are pessimists and optimists - both are choices that result in your attitude and happiness outcome.

Ask yourself:

• Is your glass ½ full or ½ empty?
• How do you react when something doesn’t go your way or as you were hoping?
• When you’re stressed out, how do you react to others or yourself?
• How does life present itself to you when you have either attitude?

Test it out sometime. When these situations occur, notice how you respond, negatively or positively. Then notice the happiness level in the outcome. What works better for you? Meaning, what makes you feel good (not rebellious but at ease, peaceful)?

Here’s another angle to consider:

We all have set goals in our lives and having a positive or happy attitude about them draws a more positive outcome naturally in obtaining them. It also makes the process much more interesting and enjoyable! This saying has a great meaning:

“Happiness comes from moving toward

one’s goals or passions, and it’s not in

the actual getting it”

WHAT?! It took me a little bit to get this intriguing statement. Many times we want what we don’t have but when we finally get it, we feel almost saddened or disappointed. Happiness IS the journey, not the destination or completion. I am not saying to ignore the celebration or to not embrace the successful completion or landmark, but having the understanding that happiness and fullness is also by human nature in the continuation of our desires. So what I’m working on is the idea that when I achieve a goal or reach that destination – I make sure I decide what I want next. That way I am always propelled to move forward and looking to that next step of my dreams.

So once one goal, dream, desire is accomplished:

1. Create another journey.
2. Open up your mind to possibilities that excite you and work toward those happy feeling ones that move you!
3. Don’t forget to reflect and celebrate each step.

It’s in the HOW we experience problems that is more important than THE specific problems we experience. So I guess being a better problem solver would be a good goal!

Here is another healthy activity that can enhance your mood and emotional well being. Because of my love for yoga, I want to share some poses/asanas that help you to connect with happiness. So, set your intention and connect with that joy within you. Don’t stop being divine if you had a bad day. Get on your mat or floor and open your heart to bring more happiness in to your world!

2. Focus on the Positives

It's been a while since I had promised to my version of the "The Four Agreements". I wrote my first one on 'Living Authentically' so here is the second of four.

Focus on the Positives:

I've decided to add this to my agreement list because it is such a way of life that is elementary yet must be a daily choice. Without a reminder sometimes life can hand us some pretty disturbing circumstances and negative vibes. So, I choose daily to carry a positive outlook and when I find myself out of line with my agreement, I choose again and shift back to noticing the positive. Those who experience more positive emotions cope with stress better, are more creative problem solvers, lead healthier lives, and have better relationships; so essentially altering the way one lives.

There is a book called “Positivity” (imagine that) and is written by Barbara Fredrickson, PhD. She says, “It helps people discover and access their own flexibility, generosity, and forgiveness. It is very critical when facing hard times.” So I found it intriguing that she also discovered (and seems so basic) that feeling positive opens up our perspectives and valuable info is easier to take in and find solutions - where negativity constricts our viewpoint. One thing I would add is that negativity is not the same as a fear based thought. For example, one must think quickly to solve a problem and having a narrow mindset sometimes is important; such as making a choice in an instant to bypass an accident.

It’s not realistic to think someone is going to be happy or ecstatic on a constant basis, and not even ideal. I do believe to live balanced one should embrace all feelings that come up with life circumstances – but it’s all about how long you choose to stay there. Choosing or allowing yourself to shift out of a bad place or negative emotion is very important.

I also think and believe that there is a difference between happiness and positivity. Positivity can mean different things and encompass feelings such as comfort, or excitement, or peacefulness; while happiness comes from the choice of being positive and feeling those positive feelings. When we encourage and develop the range of positivity we improve the way we feel and discover happiness.

Little known fact: One cannot have a negative/positive thought at the same time.

I also love what Dr. Fredrickson said about over thinking, “It’s one thing to saver the present moment but quote another to analyze it to death.” Having to explain why an experience feels good can deplete positivity and intellectualize distances us from the moment.

Think less and feel more

Did you know it takes 20 seconds to register a positive thought? I have to admit, I am a sucker for this bad habit and that doesn’t serve me at all. Why is it that if someone gets a handful of compliments and one criticism, that the positives get doused by one silly negative comment?

The last comment I want to share is an attitude of gratitude. This is what always gets me through anything that shows up in a negative light. It’s a daily ritual; I choose to not complete my day without writing down three things I am grateful for.

Search for reasons to feel grateful!

1. Live Authentically

I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I was going to write about my 4 new agreements that I added to the original Four Agreements. They all play an integral part of my journey through experiences in my life.
Here is the first of four:

Live Authentically

I like what William James said back in the early 1900’s, “Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice saying, this is the real me, and when you have found that attitude, follow it.”

This is a great way to BE and LIVE authentically. The way I look at it is that every human being brings a uniqueness to the world and we are all born with this truth inside ourselves. Unless the truth or authenticity is expressed one cannot feel content. I know that if I cannot ‘sing the song’ of my heart or ‘dance my own dance’ my inner voice or intuition shows up as an unsettling feeling that lovingly says, ‘hmmm, are you being real right now, does this serve me and others well?’

To be utterly happy, be yourself and not an imitation or carbon copy of others – If you don’t, the world around you misses out on YOU. I think many times people miss out on tremendous joy and a more fulfilled life when they aren’t being real or authentic with themselves. We really don’t have anyone to impress but God, so why spend so much time and energy on being something your not.

There’s another part of living authentically that isn’t so easy for most and that is being balanced enough with oneself or comfortable to be brutally honest. The challenge – can you do it? Believe me - sometimes that silly mirror shows right up and dang it if I get caught in that trap. BUT to notice it, catch it and allow yourself to shift - that is where true change starts happening.

Ask yourself when you know you are not being completely true to yourself - do you really believe that in the long run you are more powerful by living out of character or are you going to be respected more or less by being false? I bet most of the time, if you were to be real with others, they wouldn’t think any differently about you and more often than not, we make up stories in our minds that make us believe that we need to say something or act some way. Ha! How enlightening is that! So be authentic and be ok with it. When we come from love, both for yourself and others, a majority of the time it is received with love.

Remember, you get to live with yourself and your knowingness. Adamus St. Germain says “authenticity is letting go of things in life that are false."

I have found that one of the best things that you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with like-minded people who not only believe in themselves but they believe in you as well! We can be honest and ask for support. You see, we are all connected. So live authentically - because when you dishonor your neighbor with not being you, you dishonor yourself and that can hurt.

Kites fly higher...

Someone once said, “Kites fly higher when they meet with resistance of the wind.” But isn’t it interesting that they ‘travel’ even farther when they go ‘with the wind flow...!” Hum, interesting!

I think if we keep this in mind as we go through our day and go with the flow, our experiences will be more fun, exciting, enlightening and not so burdensome, or a struggle. When we are met with resistance or if things show up that might not go the way we want or expect, let it slide off of you like an egg on Teflon, or water on a ducks back. Maybe experiencing this flight, we could allow ourselves the gift of seeing things in a more positive light. So today, move with the groove, and be a Flag or a Kite!

Treadin' Lightly...

on Yourself, on Others, and on the Earth.

After a long time waiting, a lot of encouragement from my fellow bloggers and close aquaintances, and I suppose a self struggle to get out of my own way, I decided to start a personal blog! I selected this blog header because it is a great description of my journey and where I am going in my life.

With this outlet I will share with you my personal journey in life through brainstorming, visions, inspirational thoughts, encouragement, and just stuff!

So here’s a thought that I am choosing to live with today, and thought I would share!

When you live for today, a prized future opens before you. Did you know that only 4% of worries actually come true? Far more rewarding than you can ever imagine…is simply to live for today and not regret what you did or didn’t do yesterday- that’s just a waste of time and energy. So live in the present moment Wisely and Earnestly! It is a secret to health in mind and soul.