2. Focus on the Positives

It's been a while since I had promised to my version of the "The Four Agreements". I wrote my first one on 'Living Authentically' so here is the second of four.

Focus on the Positives:

I've decided to add this to my agreement list because it is such a way of life that is elementary yet must be a daily choice. Without a reminder sometimes life can hand us some pretty disturbing circumstances and negative vibes. So, I choose daily to carry a positive outlook and when I find myself out of line with my agreement, I choose again and shift back to noticing the positive. Those who experience more positive emotions cope with stress better, are more creative problem solvers, lead healthier lives, and have better relationships; so essentially altering the way one lives.

There is a book called “Positivity” (imagine that) and is written by Barbara Fredrickson, PhD. She says, “It helps people discover and access their own flexibility, generosity, and forgiveness. It is very critical when facing hard times.” So I found it intriguing that she also discovered (and seems so basic) that feeling positive opens up our perspectives and valuable info is easier to take in and find solutions - where negativity constricts our viewpoint. One thing I would add is that negativity is not the same as a fear based thought. For example, one must think quickly to solve a problem and having a narrow mindset sometimes is important; such as making a choice in an instant to bypass an accident.

It’s not realistic to think someone is going to be happy or ecstatic on a constant basis, and not even ideal. I do believe to live balanced one should embrace all feelings that come up with life circumstances – but it’s all about how long you choose to stay there. Choosing or allowing yourself to shift out of a bad place or negative emotion is very important.

I also think and believe that there is a difference between happiness and positivity. Positivity can mean different things and encompass feelings such as comfort, or excitement, or peacefulness; while happiness comes from the choice of being positive and feeling those positive feelings. When we encourage and develop the range of positivity we improve the way we feel and discover happiness.

Little known fact: One cannot have a negative/positive thought at the same time.

I also love what Dr. Fredrickson said about over thinking, “It’s one thing to saver the present moment but quote another to analyze it to death.” Having to explain why an experience feels good can deplete positivity and intellectualize distances us from the moment.

Think less and feel more

Did you know it takes 20 seconds to register a positive thought? I have to admit, I am a sucker for this bad habit and that doesn’t serve me at all. Why is it that if someone gets a handful of compliments and one criticism, that the positives get doused by one silly negative comment?

The last comment I want to share is an attitude of gratitude. This is what always gets me through anything that shows up in a negative light. It’s a daily ritual; I choose to not complete my day without writing down three things I am grateful for.

Search for reasons to feel grateful!