365 days of not buying new items

Each year I set my 'intentions' and various things I would like to experience or accomplish during that year.

For this 2009 year, I claimed it, "Refine '09". With this intention, I set off writing my list of what would mean to me and consist of. On this list I cleaned out every room in my house and a big chunk in my personal office. I gave away so much stuff that I just didn’t need or didn’t serve a purpose in my life, but knew it could for someone else. Among many other 'refining' goals, was to focus on my sustainable efforts. One of which was my agreement NOT to spend money on anything NEW for myself (not including food or basic vanity necessities).

Well, I made it through!

I know that retailers may not like this very much but it wasn’t that ALL retailers missed out either.

I got in the habit of asking myself these key questions anytime I had the desire to buy something that I thought I really wanted:

• Is this item really important that it will change my life or someone else’s in a significant way?
• Will it make a positive impact toward my goals, commitments or my agreements?
• Will this have a long term positive effect on my life or others?
• What could I make as an alternative that is more sustainable?

I realized that my experience has been surprisingly rewarding! Here are the positive outcomes that occurred so far:

• I saved a lot of money – by getting by with something I already had, or could make to substitute for that item.
• I have been able to contribute more to other charities with the money I saved and with items that didn’t serve me anymore.
• I built great contacts and a network of sources as I sought out reused items from resale shops, antique stores, consignment stores.
• I followed through on a commitment to myself and the environment.
• I had fun with the experience and it was almost like a treasure hunt.
• Saved money for several clients and created very fun, eclectic spaces for them by going more green and buying from consignment and antique stores.
• My living environments are more simplified
• It’s made for a pretty creative Christmas! There are so many 'green' ideas to share!
• Saved a lot of carbon emissions for the environment.
• Realized how much I would have spent on unimportant things that have been acquired but didn’t have a real important impact on my life or happiness in the long run.
• Saved a huge amount of waste that could have ended up in the landfill.
• I learned to think out of the box even more and notice things I already have and got pretty creative.
• I harvested my lavender from 2 huge bushes I have and gave as gifts
• Made compost for my plants out of bad hay and horse manure from my horses

So, now that I have already created this new habit and will continue to carry it forward with a new perspective for the year 2010 - Any guess what I have claimed this year?! Look for my next blog!

3. Happiness is a Choice

So I realize that I haven’t been very quick at posting my four 'new' agreements here on my blog – but hey I have to celebrate that I am even doing this so thank you for bearing with me! With that said, this brings me to a third agreement that I have added to my list and I would like to share with you:

"Happiness is a choice"

I have discovered that feelings of happiness are really the response to an initial thought that comes into your mind at any given time that determines ones level of happiness. There are pessimists and optimists - both are choices that result in your attitude and happiness outcome.

Ask yourself:

• Is your glass ½ full or ½ empty?
• How do you react when something doesn’t go your way or as you were hoping?
• When you’re stressed out, how do you react to others or yourself?
• How does life present itself to you when you have either attitude?

Test it out sometime. When these situations occur, notice how you respond, negatively or positively. Then notice the happiness level in the outcome. What works better for you? Meaning, what makes you feel good (not rebellious but at ease, peaceful)?

Here’s another angle to consider:

We all have set goals in our lives and having a positive or happy attitude about them draws a more positive outcome naturally in obtaining them. It also makes the process much more interesting and enjoyable! This saying has a great meaning:

“Happiness comes from moving toward

one’s goals or passions, and it’s not in

the actual getting it”

WHAT?! It took me a little bit to get this intriguing statement. Many times we want what we don’t have but when we finally get it, we feel almost saddened or disappointed. Happiness IS the journey, not the destination or completion. I am not saying to ignore the celebration or to not embrace the successful completion or landmark, but having the understanding that happiness and fullness is also by human nature in the continuation of our desires. So what I’m working on is the idea that when I achieve a goal or reach that destination – I make sure I decide what I want next. That way I am always propelled to move forward and looking to that next step of my dreams.

So once one goal, dream, desire is accomplished:

1. Create another journey.
2. Open up your mind to possibilities that excite you and work toward those happy feeling ones that move you!
3. Don’t forget to reflect and celebrate each step.

It’s in the HOW we experience problems that is more important than THE specific problems we experience. So I guess being a better problem solver would be a good goal!

Here is another healthy activity that can enhance your mood and emotional well being. Because of my love for yoga, I want to share some poses/asanas that help you to connect with happiness. So, set your intention and connect with that joy within you. Don’t stop being divine if you had a bad day. Get on your mat or floor and open your heart to bring more happiness in to your world!

May We All Be Coffee!

Since my last post about my Third Agreement on "happiness is a choice", I think this might be of interest and definitely related. With so many various circumstances that pop up in our lives - whether self-inflicted or not - it's all in how we react and handle the situation that determines our personal outcome. Remembering that we are NOT our circumstances - these are just external effects that happen in our lives. We need to remain aware of these situations and decide to shift out of that place and hold ourselves accountable and worthy of a better place - and better yet, learn from it. It's easier to move on and not remain in a negative attitude. Here is a little story that I would like to pass on that helps to shine a brighter light on handling adversity. (Author unknown)

Let's all be Coffee!

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee... (You will never look at a cup of coffee the same again.)

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, and egg or a coffee bean?

Re-focus and get back in line...

I have decided recently to join 20 others in a sustainable building advisor class that is new to Boise.  I'm pretty excited but at the same time a bit overwhelmed.  It’s one thing for me to want to keep learning and growing, and to take opportunities that present themselves and answer to ones passion and purpose in life.  On the other hand, it’s finding that balance to fit it all in.  One thing I have learned and fully believe in is:

If you’re not learning and adding to life experiences, you are regressing and growing stagnant. 

Some people feel just fine exactly as they are, doing the same thing day in and day out – “All is fine and consistent.”  I know that for me personally, when I am looking to attract people that can get me out of my comfort zone and toward my passions, life is more full and rewarding.  I have also found that no matter what I’m doing, there always seems to be the right amount of time to somehow accomplish it and fit it all in.  When you’re doing what you want to do by choice, it all seems to find it’s time.  I wonder if anyone else feels this way or sees a shift in their day.  When I’m not doing things that are ‘on purpose’ or in line with my best use of time, I feel this strong nudge or thought that is uncomfortable or out of balance.   This reminds me to re-focus and get back in line so that I am being and acting on purpose.  When will I finally get that all figured out!?  I just don’t like that frustrating feeling!  Who else understands this??

2. Focus on the Positives

It's been a while since I had promised to my version of the "The Four Agreements". I wrote my first one on 'Living Authentically' so here is the second of four.

Focus on the Positives:

I've decided to add this to my agreement list because it is such a way of life that is elementary yet must be a daily choice. Without a reminder sometimes life can hand us some pretty disturbing circumstances and negative vibes. So, I choose daily to carry a positive outlook and when I find myself out of line with my agreement, I choose again and shift back to noticing the positive. Those who experience more positive emotions cope with stress better, are more creative problem solvers, lead healthier lives, and have better relationships; so essentially altering the way one lives.

There is a book called “Positivity” (imagine that) and is written by Barbara Fredrickson, PhD. She says, “It helps people discover and access their own flexibility, generosity, and forgiveness. It is very critical when facing hard times.” So I found it intriguing that she also discovered (and seems so basic) that feeling positive opens up our perspectives and valuable info is easier to take in and find solutions - where negativity constricts our viewpoint. One thing I would add is that negativity is not the same as a fear based thought. For example, one must think quickly to solve a problem and having a narrow mindset sometimes is important; such as making a choice in an instant to bypass an accident.

It’s not realistic to think someone is going to be happy or ecstatic on a constant basis, and not even ideal. I do believe to live balanced one should embrace all feelings that come up with life circumstances – but it’s all about how long you choose to stay there. Choosing or allowing yourself to shift out of a bad place or negative emotion is very important.

I also think and believe that there is a difference between happiness and positivity. Positivity can mean different things and encompass feelings such as comfort, or excitement, or peacefulness; while happiness comes from the choice of being positive and feeling those positive feelings. When we encourage and develop the range of positivity we improve the way we feel and discover happiness.

Little known fact: One cannot have a negative/positive thought at the same time.

I also love what Dr. Fredrickson said about over thinking, “It’s one thing to saver the present moment but quote another to analyze it to death.” Having to explain why an experience feels good can deplete positivity and intellectualize distances us from the moment.

Think less and feel more

Did you know it takes 20 seconds to register a positive thought? I have to admit, I am a sucker for this bad habit and that doesn’t serve me at all. Why is it that if someone gets a handful of compliments and one criticism, that the positives get doused by one silly negative comment?

The last comment I want to share is an attitude of gratitude. This is what always gets me through anything that shows up in a negative light. It’s a daily ritual; I choose to not complete my day without writing down three things I am grateful for.

Search for reasons to feel grateful!

1. Live Authentically

I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I was going to write about my 4 new agreements that I added to the original Four Agreements. They all play an integral part of my journey through experiences in my life.
Here is the first of four:

Live Authentically

I like what William James said back in the early 1900’s, “Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice saying, this is the real me, and when you have found that attitude, follow it.”

This is a great way to BE and LIVE authentically. The way I look at it is that every human being brings a uniqueness to the world and we are all born with this truth inside ourselves. Unless the truth or authenticity is expressed one cannot feel content. I know that if I cannot ‘sing the song’ of my heart or ‘dance my own dance’ my inner voice or intuition shows up as an unsettling feeling that lovingly says, ‘hmmm, are you being real right now, does this serve me and others well?’

To be utterly happy, be yourself and not an imitation or carbon copy of others – If you don’t, the world around you misses out on YOU. I think many times people miss out on tremendous joy and a more fulfilled life when they aren’t being real or authentic with themselves. We really don’t have anyone to impress but God, so why spend so much time and energy on being something your not.

There’s another part of living authentically that isn’t so easy for most and that is being balanced enough with oneself or comfortable to be brutally honest. The challenge – can you do it? Believe me - sometimes that silly mirror shows right up and dang it if I get caught in that trap. BUT to notice it, catch it and allow yourself to shift - that is where true change starts happening.

Ask yourself when you know you are not being completely true to yourself - do you really believe that in the long run you are more powerful by living out of character or are you going to be respected more or less by being false? I bet most of the time, if you were to be real with others, they wouldn’t think any differently about you and more often than not, we make up stories in our minds that make us believe that we need to say something or act some way. Ha! How enlightening is that! So be authentic and be ok with it. When we come from love, both for yourself and others, a majority of the time it is received with love.

Remember, you get to live with yourself and your knowingness. Adamus St. Germain says “authenticity is letting go of things in life that are false."

I have found that one of the best things that you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with like-minded people who not only believe in themselves but they believe in you as well! We can be honest and ask for support. You see, we are all connected. So live authentically - because when you dishonor your neighbor with not being you, you dishonor yourself and that can hurt.

Is Your PMA In Check?

Have you checked your PMA (or Positive Mental Attitude) today? Do you carry it with you throughout the day?

When one feels positive, our whole world, our perspectives, and all possibilities open up! Solutions become easier and opportunites surprise us - stress levels reduce...

Being positive, or CHOOSING to carry a PMA allows for less space in the brain for negative thoughts.

It takes 20 seconds to register something positive - so do something to help ground that thought. Give more compliments, think about that positive idea or thought for a little longer, let it hang out, soak in, and enjoy it!

So, think less negatives, feel more positives, and carry your PMA with you! Oh, and you might want to check it out a little more often... Some people might even have to ‘schedule’ a check in time! Ha!

We all need reminders -